On my train trip home yesterday I came across the most amazing thing. There was a woman standing in the central bit near the doors, and as I was in the lower carriage, this meant I was at the perfect height to stare at her legs the entire trip home. And no ordinary legs had she, oh no!
They were like tree trunks. And she didn't just have cankles, but what I like to refer as thiankles
. It was the same width from the top to the bottom, I shit you not. She had actual ankle muffin tops hanging over her shoes.
Here is a diagram to demonstrate.
sexy or gross?
a fairy tale for amy starring various aussie musicians.
once upon a time there was a princess. usually these stories start with saying the princess was beautiful, but this one really wasn't. she was pretty fucking ugly, with this strange facial hair thing going. her name was snow white, and that had nothing to do with her having lovely fair skin, she was pale alright, but in a sickly way and as i said, fuggo. it had more to do with all the cocaine she kept shoving up her nose.
a lot of other people just used to call her bernard fanning.
so anyways, princess bernard fanning's stepmother, missy higgans, who was a raging dyke was pretty tired of the fuggo uglying up the castle. so she put in an add in the local street press for some henchmen and ended up with an autistic woodcutter by the name of craig nicholls.
so missy was all 'right you cunt, i want you to do more than leave this hairy faced bitch with a scar, i want you to chop her up good' and craigy just stood there and sorta shaked in his dirty black chuck taylors and nodded.
since craig is autistic he couldn't very well just go up to princess bernard like a normal woodcutter might, so missy higgins had to go and arrange it like a blind date, whcih had bernard super excited cos she's a super fuggo and who'd wanna date her
to be continued.....
Simon Day - sexy or gross?
Personally, i'm thinking sexy.
your letter is written, i just need to find some sticky tape to tape it up. as you know i don't trust the sticky stuff on envelopes to keep my letters secure. also the paper i used was rather thick and didn't fold well, so the letter is a bit bulgy.
i don't know where my tape is, so i might have to buy some when i'm out today getting soup and stamps.
I was just thinking before that i need to start writing you again.
I've got the cute paper, so i think thats what i'll be doing today. I'll just have to find a pen.
It won't be anything long, since i'm kind of out of the letter writing loop. but expect something from me soon.